155. go to their life group?

154. Like a kid on Christmas

Oh man. so today on like one of my only full weekends off, i decided to finally have coffee with an awesome dude Jesse. I was so pumped since well we havent had lets say one on one time in a really long time. So we end up going to starbucks and it was fulll so we grabbed some bubble tea made by a newbie being trained, and well then we sat there. Then i asked Jesse if he had seen Mike recently and well, he was like "yeah wanna go?" OH MAN was i excited! but i was also really nervous. From what i've heard, he doesnt remember everybody, so its a select few that he can really remember. Anyways at this time im like oh man i really hope he remembers me. Anyways we sign in take 4 flights of stairs and finally come up. Then we look and see that he's playing connect four with some dude, so we come up behind him and say "hey buddy". Its do or die at this moment, as im praying he remembers me and alas he goes "hey guys thanks for visiting me!" this put a huge smile on my face, and then he was like "Paula go grab a seat" I was like OHHH mann thank you Jesus. Anyways i got to play connect four against him and ohh man he's awesome at it. even though our game kept collapsing. But anyways, then i watched him play chess against jesse,which was hilarious cuz he kept saying "thank you kind sir", " thank you mamme" oh man but chess is a really skilled game so im proud to say his memory is getting way better. Then 3 of his friends came and it was funny. They brought him cookies and then we all moved over to his room cuz it had more space in order for us to chill, and well they gave him dinner, which he finished even though he complained about having to eat beets. haha It was funny trying to convince him that beets were good for him. He was like "really??" so we told him he'd have BIG muscles in the morning and he ate them. anyways then we chilled and it was awesome. His friends were sweet, and we watched anchorman with him. I looked up and he had pictures of people in his room. Glad to say that the one of us and him that reads "Mike u sexy beast" is up there. It made me smile. There were some moments when i just sat there thinking about how far he's come. Like ohh man its crazy to have seen him one day, and then in the hospital in critical condition the next, but he's improved so much and i can say that i am a million percent proud of him. AND honestly i cant help but smile. GOD is soooo GOOD. I am literally like a kid on christmas about this whole day! I can say its pretty much one of the BEST days ever. thats about it for now. Im gonna visit him again this upcoming week. =]

this is the pic in his room =]

153.oh how i wish i could hear

so pretty much these past two weeks have been a gongshow. In a good way of course. in total i have had 8 days off. 8!! thats like a week and a day without working. which means no money. which pretty much stresses me out. anyways in these 8 days that ive had off, not consecutively i might add, i have spent approx 4 days complaining about the ear infection i have, but alas these have also been a few of the best days ive ever had. Ive just gotten to relax a lot, talk to some world changers host LG for the first time and well, 2nd time, and its going awesome. I cant believe the things that i have been blessed with. Yeahh some things suck but the blessings are always something that i need to look back on. Life group for instance, who would have guessed 10 yrs ago that i would be running one? not me. but alas its been swell. Ive had the chance of seeing some of my friends even if it was for 10 min and loving every second of it, and well theres also been church thrown in there. Sunday is pretty much my favorite day, cuz i get to spend it with my friends and youth and family. its just awesome. I guess i can write a lot more but really theres nothing that interesting. so adios for now.

152. lets meet up

so yesterday i woke up having a crappy day cuz my ear hurt so bad, AND i had to go to work, which i dread. BUT anyways i get a text from one of my fav ppl in the world, edwin asking me if i was at the mall. Alas, i was on my way so he said he'd wait for me. So i had the awesome priviledge of having coffee with 2 awesome brothersm Edmond and Edwin. It was pretty much just me and edmond talking while edwin threw in the most random things, but it was awesome and made my day that much better. They put a HUGE smile on my face. =]

151.so much wisdom

150. beetles and bugs unite.

149. the cross

i am officially OVERWHELMED. theres really no way to explain it but to go a little while back and start from there.

Ok, so, a little while back i was kinda just chillin, as i always do and i remember thinking about becoming a pastor. I love to talk, lots. if you know me, this is one of the first things you learn about me. So at this point im thinking yeah this is a sweet opportunity to talk AND spread the word of Jesus to people. Little did i know that as im chillin here, God would be showing me things that I would later come to find, as one of my many purposes in this life. I can say that i have been "called" to be a pastor. This has been a big thing for me in the last little while as i have been planning the next few chapters of my life, but i didnt realize how much this would impact me until today.

Lately i have been doubting. AND if u know me, im usually the encourager, telling people that they can do whatever they set their mind to, but telling myself that i cant. Right there, not practicing what i am preaching. arg. ANYWAYS, I have been doubting my whole leaving to spain for a while now, because i have been discouraged. discouraged because well, i have no money, and also because when i think about all i have, i dont wanna leave it behind. but alas, Gods plan is bigger than my own.

So thats the background story, let me get to tonight. During worship im at the front jumping and praising Jesus with all I have, then a slow song comes on and at this point im all by myself back in my seat just praising Jesus, and i look up and see EVERY single hand in the air. EVERY SINGLE ONE. I got uber emotional and started to legit shed tears. Im thinking to myself i wish Paul, Gabbi, Nicky, Letitia, and Chanel were here. Then i stopped and thanked Jesus that they werent. I depend so much on my friends that i have been putting them first before my own creator, and thats NOT cool. I love my friends so much and I know that they would have recieved this msg greatly, but im thankful that for once, i could experience something by myself. (and its not being mean, its the truth) Tonight I learned that u need to be independant. These people arent gonna be there when i go to heaven, and face Jesus. think about that for a second. Sucks eh? So you have to be independant. Then Richard Wilkerson preached. It was AMAZING. i got so much out of it! u can say that i potentially loved it lots. anyways, he preached about following the cross. wherever the cross is we should follow it. whatever Gods calling is for our life, we should follow it with all we have. At this point im Amen-ing this guy and yelling out "awesome" , "thats good" "tru that." But what grabbed me the most was when i stopped myself and thought this: "this isnt about me anymore, its about bringing a living Jesus to a dying world." WOW. right there, is the life that needed to be spoken to me. At the end of his sermon he asked a very simple thing from us, " if you want to follow the cross, on the count of three lift ur right hand and yell out that u want to follow the cross." At this point im all like yeah i do, and then when he counted to 3, i stood up. he then called us to the front where we praised God and I listened intently to what God was saying to/ showing me. All i could see was the streets. Thru lots and lots and well, lots of tears, i found that it was a reassurance from God about what i was supposed to be doing with my life. it was AMAZING to make the decision to give it all to him, with no turning back. I am now going FULL FORCE for the things God wants me to do. I am so so so pumped to see what he has in store for me.

so, thank you Rich Wilkerson for opening ur mouth and preaching exactly what i needed to hear, and most importantly, thank you JESUS for taking my sin on that cross, and loving me unconditionally.

148. the aftermath

147. he died for u and me

JESUS

holy

today i watched the passion of the christ and oh my word was it eye opening. I dont think i have ever been so happy to be a part of the kingdom of God knowing that I am going to heaven. There is so much i can say about this movie, but i want to just let ya know that Jesus is real. Imagine the fact that one man came to this earth and taught and healed and all that jazz, and he loved us so much that even though he didnt want to, he knew that it was Gods purpose for him to take up our sin on the cross. WOW. I can legit say that i didnt weep, but i was heartbroken. There was so much that Jesus did for us and oh my word i am so blessed to have been able to grow up as a christian and even though there were times when i felt like i wasnt, God was always there for me.

Thats unconditional love.

146. i fell on jesus

145. live long and prosper buddy.