DO YOU KNOW WHERE YOU'RE AT?
What a slap in the face by reality.
I am not one to think that God doesnt have an amazing and remarkable plan for my life, but i am one to think SOMETIMES that there is no grace for me.
I have screwed up. A Lot.
I have done things in my past that i wish i could take back.
I have broke up friendships over something that i could not learn to let go.
I have become someone that i never wanted to be.
I have not become me.
People always tell me that they love who I am, and i always nod along and go with the flow. I afterall, have always been that girl who has a smile. My friends will tell you that i am a great listener, or a personable person.
"You are so sociable! Everyone wants to be your friend. Its unreal, and i can see why. You genuinely care about people. It is so rare to meet someone who is so personable but somehow you are just that."
-Brody
or
"I love you! there will never be a paula replacement! No one can amount to your awesomeness anyways!"
-Braeden
or
"I just want to tell you how unbelievably amazing you are. I am so happy to have you as a friend. You have sych a beautiful heart, and you always stay positive!"
-Jenae
SLAP ME IN THE FACE ALREADY.
if these comments dont make me want to change then what will?
This weekend I was at REV CONFERENCE. And oh my goodness God showed up. Seriously. what a guy.
Message after Message i was moved.
Song after Song i was moved.
i was MOVED.
Robert Madu started off the conference with a message titled "It's in YOU"
He then preached about how we came from Dirt. yes, Dirt. He told us that God works with the messed up. That he cares about the ones who stray and that God is a great gardener with the seeds we sow.
He then talked about the gifts that God has instilled in us.
This made me open my eyes a little bit more because he claimed that GOD, our provider, gave us each a gift that he wants us to use. Whether big or small, it is still a gift. AND we should still use it to its fullest capability. I mean who are we kidding, we will never amount to all that God has called us to be, because we live in a world that holds us back, BUT we can definitely try and become radical for Jesus.
After all, was it not Jesus who took all our dirt when he was on that cross? was it not Jesus who has forgiven us? Was it not Jesus who said "Paula I love you, no matter what the circumstance, because i died for you."
once again,
SLAP IN THE FACE.
put it in perspective, God hands you the gift of preaching,or singing, or art, or saving women and children from the sex trade, or building amazing homes, or dance but you keep it for yourself. who does that slap in the face?
not you.
Might as well slap God yourself.
#Perspective
isnt it eye opening to see the perspective of that? how many times have I personally slapped God in the face? too many to count. Because in all honesty, yes i was given the gift of preaching to my full potential but no, i didnt use it in the capability that God wanted me to use it in and that to me sucks a lot.
Robert then stated "Your gift is a collaboration of YOU & GOD"
How incredible is that. He gives it to YOU, and you use it.
AND
not only that, he helps you use it.
He opens doors.
He gives opportunities.
TAKE THEM.
stop being that person who says that they have nothing to offer when in reality you have an enormous amount to offer.
*Insert Reality slap here*
The next day, James Murray spoke about the response that we had when we responded to the Gospel.
a quote that he said stuck out to me a lot.
he said
"Religion counts, grace erases."
WOAH WOAH WOAH
hold on a second.
WHAT?!
Grace does what?
ERASES.
Therefore, I know that when i mess up, GRACE aka JESUS has your back.
and yes, you can say AMEN to that.
Then Harrison Conley spoke a message about being yourself in Church. He gave us the example of a man who isnt in shape and hasnt seen his friends for a while, so when they ask him to hang at the beach, he goes but inhales so that he looks thinner. Then this man proceeds to go into the water and exhale so that he can be himself when no one sees him.
He then claimed that in Church there are many christians who put on the mask of "everything is awesome and no one needs to know otherwise" and when they leave church, they exhale and are broken people.
this to me is also a
SLAP IN THE FACE,
because i did this for SO LONG. Even now, i find myself doing this sometimes and i now realize that when there is something going on, God wants ALL of it. Not the piece that we can let go, but all of it. God wants us to let go.
Then Justin Reimer spoke a message on the fact that we are here. so we might as well be where we are and use that to its full capacity.
he told us to "wake up behind the wheel of our life".
wow.
SLAP IN THE FACE #2875023032
how many times do we wish we were somewhere else. I think that is definitely something that hold us back from all that God wants to do in us. We long to Run. We want change and pursue it, but forget that Jesus wants us in the now and has our lives planned for us.
Then Chad Veach closed the conference with going through Psalm 23.
He talked about how whatever God annoints he also approves. He talked about how when we have God we have a seat at his table. He also talked about how the devil instills lies into us. How when God says "come" the devil exclaims "not Paula, shes done this and this and this and isnt worthy of a seat at YOUR table." when we let the devil put lies before us, we fall back. But Gods table is big enough and he is more than enough for us.
Chad then asked us if we were called to ministry to put up our hand.
without even thinking both my hands shot up in the air and i started to ball like a baby. i now know that what God has for my life is 79035247802 times bigger than what i have for my own life.
in all reality, i am grateful.
and in awe.
Jesus is real people.
&
he loves you more than anyone ever could.
There is GRACE.
live in it.
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