175.hows that corazon?

really. hows that heart of urs feeling today? think about it. we put so much thought and emotion into our heads, that we tend to forget about our hearts. Today i learned something new. Im wasting my time thinking about a relationship that i have created in my head. im hurting myself and others just talking about it, and i dont wanna waste my time anymore. My friend helped me realize this, and shes 120% right. thats a tough pill to swallow. I have created and imagined what my life would be like if i "dated" this person. Im a little annoyed at myself. how could i do this? why? whats in it for me? hurt? rejection? confrontation? mostly though, what if this person finds out. theres a million "what ifs" and its getting stupid. im just frustrated. this would be so much better if this person felt the same. then i ask myself. what if? what if this person DOES? that would change everything. and now, instead of making up this thing in my head, it would be real. life.