An ending to an eventful year and beginning to a life changer||

As I sit here at my kitchen table, with my extra big curly hair in a bun, and my Pajamas that don't match (shocker I know) drinking a cup of starbucks anniversary blend, I can't help but reflect on this year. Being the last day Of 2013, I woke up and went thru my Instagram to look at the pics of this past year. I found some happy memories attached to all of these pics, but I also found some sad ones too. 

This year has been filled with reunions, goodbyes, old friends, new friends, adventures, heartbreaks, new jobs, an abundance of church times, lots of friends having babies or getting engaged or married and just plain trying to get through some rough weeks. 

                        

To be honest this has probably been my hardest year to date. I Started 2013 with my one word being PERSPECTIVE and I literally heard it on the daily at least 3 times a day. Everywhere I went, I heard it. I tried to put every situation of this year into the perspective of looking at the bigger picture. That maybe every struggle was a small part of the big picture, or that every happy moment was just a small part of the big picture. 

I learned a lot this year. 

I learned the value of friendships this year. Having been reunited with the fab 5 was literally the best thing this year. I witnessed break ups and hurting hearts, I witnessed death and struggles, I witnessed words that were said and how those words could break each of us down. I I witnessed working so hard to pursue something you love, that you were never seen. I witnessed two of My pals leaving to find better things and to better themselves and their lives by pursuing things that would help them achieve what God would want them to do. I witnessed people open up their homes to me when I got kicked out of mine. I witnessed transparency. I witnessed an abundance of love that each one of these girls gave and received by not only each other but by all. For that I'm grateful. 

I also learned that your co workers aren't just your co workers, they're your family. I got to see a whole bunch of random and different people come together to not only learn to trust one another, but learn to love each other through literally thick and thin. I always knew that there would be people who put on a front of everything being ok, because I normally am that person, but I think we all learned to break down those walls for each other and for ourselves. I saw people at their highs and lows and learned to love them thru it all. We learned to have each others backs at all times and we stood by that. 

I learned that my family isn't ideal. This year has been hard. For all of us. From such amazing times to such crappy times. From heartbreak to new relationships to forgiveness to learning to love each other thru it all. I can say that for myself, my mom and my sister, this year has been hard with not being able to get Along all the time, but i feel like through every trial we were always there for each other. We learned to love, even When we weren't being loveable. We learned that space could only help the Situation until it arose again. We learned that when we said words we didn't mean, we were throwing daggers at each others hearts. But mostly we learned that the door was always open to come back and that transparency could help heal our wounds. 

I learned to be adventurous. To be open to the things that this year would bring. I learned to try new things and to not always stick to the same things that I was used to. I learned that even though I was being adventurous, I always stuck to my boundaries.

I learned that it's ok to have different dreams. That even though I'm called to be a pastor, that I can still do many other things because I have many other talents. That all those talents weren't just given to me because of nothing, but that I could use them to do mighty things. 

I also learned that no matter what my best friend will always be my best friend thru every and all situations. I learned that we could go for months without talking but that when we finally talked it would be like there was never an absence of each other. 

This year I learned what perspective really meant in my life. This year was just one year of my life. It was a tiny speck of the story that God has for me. It was a year of trial to see if God could trust me with everything and all things he has in store for me. 

So my word for 2014 is RESPOND. 

I want to learn to respond to my calling, and to respond to whatever needs a response. I'm ready for whatever comes this next year and I'm excited to start my new year off in Guatemala with my family who I haven't seen in years. 

Thank you all for being a part of my year, and for loving me thru everything. You all are loved immensely. 

Xx.