221. Before my thoughts are gone

Today I had the awesome chance to hang with the awesome Brody. I feel like I constantly tweet or talk about Brody and its honestly because out of all the people I have gotten to know recently, he is the most real. It's funny cuz I remember Brody coming to church when it was called victory christian centre but I remember not knowing him. I was a strange kid. He was a strange kid. We were both super strange kids. It was normal back then to be in constant confusion over who was friends with who and now I can honestly say that I'm glad he's in my life.  I told Brody this and I know he won't be upset about me mentioning it, but I told him that to me he was a write off. Not because I didn't want to get to know him, but because I did and was afraid to. Here's the thing with me. I have trust issues. I am not afraid to admit that because of the fact that its true. I didn't always have them but I do now and it's ok, I'm working on them and you don't have to be concerned. But alas this leads me back to what I was saying. I can say that I have only ever REALLY opened up with no shame, no guilt and no worry of being judged to one person. That person is my best friend. It took a while for us to get to that best friend stage. We've had our fair share of fighting and loving and listening and just being there for each other, But it wasn't an easy ride. I have this thing where I am super outgoing and I love people. I do. It's not easy being me. I genuinely care about every person I get to meet. I would take a bullet for every person I have ever met. That's how much I care. BUT do I trust all these new people ? Nope. Why? Because like I said I have a hard time. I want to with every ounce in my being be able to trust all these people but I can't. And so this leads me back to Brody. I wanted to be that person who was friends and had the trust for him but I couldn't. These past few weeks have been eye opening for me though. I may not show it in the way that I act but I truly have been challenged to open my heart and my soul and my mind to the things that scare me, and to the things that will make me a better person. Brody taught me that. And yenno what awesome about it? He doesn't know it. Brody is genuine and kind and smart and hilarious beyond measure, and he doesn't know it. He has opened my eyes to see the awesome in the people around me, he has opened my heart to take in all Christ has for me. He uses his words to build me up and not tear me down. He has opened my mind to the ideas that have surrounded my mind for so long. He taught me that words without actions are useless. You have to act on the things you say. And before all you Guys get the wrong idea , brods and I are just pals. I speak highly of the people who impact my life. Brody is an influence to me. If that doesn't keep him accountable for being so awesome I don't know what will. He has a HUGE heart. I value him and alway will. I TRUST Brody with all that I am. And I am thankful for him. He knows that. I guess this makes us new best buds. Sucks to be you Brody haha. Xo